


It Can't End Like This

by Lucius



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-25
Updated: 2012-09-25
Packaged: 2017-11-15 00:34:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/521173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucius/pseuds/Lucius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU: They couldn't simply let their friendship go like that. Sulking for weeks, he finally came up with a plan. He would win back her friendship and then never let it go. Originally published 7/2011. Will be picked up again late 2012.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_"But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"_

Those words haunted him for weeks. It was sheer torture, thinking about how angry he'd been at those gits, and how that anger had blinded him, causing him to lash out against the only real friend he had. The memories kept flooding him unbidden, reminding him of his scathing words and of their later discussion outside of the Gryffindor common room. The resultant and somewhat abrupt end never left his mind in peace thereafter.

He simply couldn't stand to lose his best friend, so after weeks of torment, of sulking on his own, of snapping at anyone who so much as  _breathed_  around him, he decided enough was enough. He practiced his charm work for hours, days, weeks on end, getting the flicks and swishes just perfect. All too often he was off on his own, far from prying eyes, practicing the magic that he desperately hoped would win his best friend back. Severus was entirely singular in his task, but not even his schoolwork had suffered. If nothing else, he was a very well-studied young man who could easily dazzle his professors, if not for the ever-present scowl on his sallow face.

The work had paid off as the day had come. It was late in May, the final countdown until the O.W.L.s already having begun the prior school year. Severus was hardly concerned. His Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L.s were the only ones of serious concern, and he had no doubt he would nail them with Outstandings while breezing through the rest.

His unusual good mood accompanied him as he worked diligently along a secluded patch of grass down the long lawn of Hogwarts, nestled at a slight decline, a stone path leading farther down into the Forbidden Forest.

The first year he'd recruited proved most useful as Severus finally broke away from his work to watch him leading the red-haired object of his devotion toward him and the set-up he'd so meticulously worked on. His pockets felt considerably lighter as the first year had been a conniving little git, greedy hands reaching for any gold Severus had to offer. Slytherins were nothing if not opportunistic. Before the girl had a chance to question him further, the first year dashed off ahead and used his abundant young energy to his advantage, fleeing the scene and ensuring that Lily Evans made it near the intended patch of grass.

When she couldn't catch the boy, she started rummaging through her bag looking for the potions ingredients he had claimed he needed, probably hoping he would return. The scene was set, and without much thought, Severus sent the silvery doe flying from the tip of his ebony-and-dragon heartstring wand. She gently made her way near the redheaded girl who, if she looked up and around her, would spot the beautiful creature.

Just as predicted, she did finally look up from her bag in exasperation, having cut her finger on some parchment or another. Sucking on the wound, her almond-shaped eyes fell to the creature grazing along the grass nearby, curiosity piquing. When she started to head toward the doe, it darted off in the direction of the decline not far from Lily, who followed in curiosity.

Petals crunched beneath her shoes as she looked down and noticed them. They seemed to be arranged in a pattern leading toward the decline, just in case she hadn't seen the doe's direction. Eyes wide in curious wonderment, she followed the path until she came upon the full scene, her vibrant green eyes taking it all in.

A curvy white shape, upon closer inspection, formed the body of a snake and was made up of casablanca lilies. The fragrance hit her nose instantly and she marveled at the scent. Another little detail caught her eye: twined along the serpentine shape were little yellow Narcissus flowers, spelling out—her  _name_. It was unexpected, but she was starting to piece together the puzzle.

"Sev…?" She tentatively called out for the boy she'd recently had a falling out with, shouldering her bag and looking carefully about.

His hands clenched beside him and his head rested against the firm bark of the tree supporting his back. He'd watched her movements from behind the tree until he absolutely needed to conceal himself as she got nearer. Now that she made the connection, he slowly emerged from the tree, leaning his rounded but slightly angular shoulder against it as his gaze trailed the grass at his feet. Severus' heart was hammering in his chest, but lightened a bit at Lily's soft voice, noting that it held no malice or mistrust.

"…Lily." The curtain of black fell before his dark eyes for a moment as he finally lifted his head a fraction, the thoughtful gaze running across the scene and landing on his target's shoes. He did not dare look up to meet her own face, fear gripping him in immeasurable ways.

Hearing the acknowledgment, she swallowed the suddenly dry lump in her throat and shifted her bag, addressing the scene.

"I know you think it's a soft subject, but you really have a talent for Herbology. It's beautiful."

Not used to compliments, he shrunk a little, wondering at her final sentence. Was she saying the floral scene was beautiful for the sake of beauty, or because it was  _he_  who had created it? He had to know, so he lifted his head the rest of the way, heavy gaze tracing over her collar before it came to rest on her perfect lips—though he quickly shoved that train of thought to the back of his mind—and composed his voice so that none of the internal battle would seep through.

"I would never think to take up the subject purely out of academic curiosity, I assure you. This was not meant to be a show of talent, as much as—" He halted mid-speech, unable to reveal the truth just yet. He let the unfinished sentence linger in the stiff air between them, onyx eyes and thin jaw steeled against her reaction.

Still tender about his harsh words several weeks ago, she allowed him to flounder in his halting words now, slowly walking toward the silvery doe which had started to 'graze' along the lilies Severus had brought to life. Her hand passed neatly through the doe's neck before coming to rest on her, as though she would pet her. Softly, she offered the words he was grabbing for.

"You're sorry, I know, Sev. That doesn't change the words you said or their meaning." She hadn't turned to look at him.

"What they meant—" he began, unable to finish the sentence when he heard the heat in the words. Instead, he walked to the edge of the flower serpent's body and plucked a lily from it, come to a halt on the other side of the doe, a mere foot separating him from Lily.

"I was angry. I shouldn't have said that. I truly  _am_  sorry." He gently lifted an arm over the doe's back and held the flower out to her. A peace offering.

She'd been following his movement as he walked toward her, keeping her gaze low so she wouldn't make him too nervous. She learned over the years of their friendship that he never seemed to do well when expressing his emotions.

A few moments passed before she reached her hand out to intentionally brush against his for several seconds, finally taking the lily into her own hand. Pulling back, her free hand swiped at her cheeks, dashing away any stray tears that had formed.

Lily laughed a little to cover up her emotions, before changing the subject. "Look at her, she's brilliant. I thought mine was good, but I clearly need to practice more if I don't want a 'T' on my O.W.L.s."

Severus watched her carefully, pushing back the feelings the simple touch of her hand evoked. His cheeks had other ideas as a slightly rosy color crept onto their pallid surface. He'd noted the swipe at her tears and his heart lurched.

In a gravely voice, he reverted the topic to a more serious angle. "I need you to understand me, so I can't ever hurt you again. You were right about everything you said, but I want you to know  _why_  I can't let it go, why I can't be good and pure like you."

The seriousness of his tone caught her attention. She took in his words and immediately threw them back at him. Her voice dropped an octave so as not to be overheard, despite being far from the castle.

"There is no way I can understand what you said. When you use that word, it applies to every muggleborn, including me. And those boys you've been hanging around with… you're falling in line with them, starting to act just as creepy as them." She leaned in closer over the doe's back to convey her message more clearly.

"A lot of the muggleborns are becoming afraid to walk alone, Sev." Lily was even having a hard time walking around the Potions classroom, which was, unfortunately, very close to the Slytherin common room and the source of the discomfort for muggleborns. Ever the favorite of Professor Slughorn, she didn't even feel safe going to his office whenever he called upon her.

His brows had gradually dipped deeper as she spoke, until he wore an all-out frown. He didn't want to start this again, so he shifted the focus of the conversation to a question she'd asked him weeks ago.

"You asked why you're different. But that's just it. You simply  _are_. I hoped this," his arm swept across the floral scene behind them, "would convey my meaning. I wouldn't do this for just anyone." The last was whispered as his shoulders tensed. Would she understand the depth of his emotions, the meaning behind the gesture?

She started to say something in objection but Severus' gesture made her look at the scene around them and think twice about her words. Her face relaxed a bit as she turned back to him.

"That doesn't make me different from the other muggleborns, I  _am_  a mu—" she couldn't say the word, the very one Severus himself had spat at James several weeks ago. Lifting her shoulders against the memory, she went on. "I am a muggleborn, despite how we feel about one another." Lily didn't notice her slip right away, instead, plowing forward with her thought.

"With you hanging around these new 'friends,' I can't help but ask if you feel like muggleborns are under you. I don't understand how you can continue to associate with me if that's the case." The tone of her voice was wary as she watched him across the doe's back.

"No! I would never—" Severus abruptly stopped that comment before he got too heated. Changing tactics, he lowered his tone. The doe between them was finally dissipating from the heat of the conversation until it fizzled out in a mist of silver.

"The reason I said that was because of my  _father_ ," he practically spat the word. "He loved the bottle more than he ever loved my mother and me, more than he loved making money, and even more than he loved eating the basics to survive. He made me  _hate_  muggles." The venom in his voice was clear, although when he turned his gaze to look into Lily's green depths, the heat all but dissipated.

"I think it was mostly blaming him for his actions. I'm starting to see how wrong I was." Severus paused as though he were about to rip a piece of his heart out and hand it to her on a silver platter. Perhaps in some way, he was.

"Lily, I could never see you as beneath me. Above all, I see you as an equal." He sincerely meant it, his eyes were pleading with her to believe him.

The beat of a few moments passed in tension. She finally leaned forward and reached for his face with both hands, resting them upon his cheeks. Her thumbs stroked his cheekbones gently as she leaned her lips against his forehead in a chaste kiss. Lily didn't lift away much as she spoke.

"I forgive you."

Severus was taken aback by her actions and words. He held onto his breath and his deep black eyes widened as he stood there, unable to move, unwilling to shift away from her comforting warmth. After a little while, he noticed he hadn't taken a breath and quickly starting to breathe again. He closed his eyes to revel in her presence.

Softly, he replied. "…thank you." His hands were itching to be around her, so they tentatively reached up to Lily's sides, resting awkwardly against her in a gentle touch, not quite a hug.

—  **¤ —**

They'd reconciled their friendship that afternoon, but before the day was over, their voices could be heard discussing a new topic.

"You'll have to help with my patronus so we get into the same Defense Against the Dark Arts class," she told him firmly, raising a brow as if he could argue.

They faced one another as she prepared for a quick lesson, her wand out and ready. He pulled his own to practice the wandwork with her as they started.

"Remember what we learned: think of a really happy memory and then say the spell."

She nodded and did so, her "Expecto Patronum" resulting in a crystal clear doe for all of a second before it was sucked back into the tip of her wand. Lily huffed in annoyance.

"It must be my concentration. I can't think as well with O.W.L.s so close…"

"You'll do fine, don't worry." Severus addressed her concerns. "Besides, this can do nothing but help in our studies, right?" When he had a point, he had a point.

Her second try resulted in a similar outcome: the patronus didn't last for more than a second.

Severus, without actively thinking about his actions, came up beside her and started to position her wand at a slightly different angle and moved her hand with his through the motions of the spell. She was a bright witch, but no doubt the O.W.L. pressure was truly getting to her, so he didn't question her failure.

When he realized his boldness, he snatched his hand back and took a few steps backward, muttering a "Sorry" as he indicated for her to try again.

This time the patronus lingered for a moment longer before dissipating again. Severus raised both brows as he slowly approached the redheaded young woman, this time voicing his actions.

"Here, you bring up another memory and I'll help you hold the patronus." He didn't explain how he would do that, but she merely nodded as his hand wrapped warmly against hers, her wand in position.

"Expecto Patronum!" The doe shot out of the wand and formed a bright edge around its body, her head leaning down toward the lilies to graze, just like Severus' had done. He dearly hoped she wouldn't make the immediate connection between their two does' similarity.

While she was casting the spell, Severus had tried to keep eye contact with her for as long as possible. Over the recent months, he'd discovered a new skill in his possession, where he found himself in another's mind and could read their deepest secrets and could even see through their eyes. In this instance, he had used this ability the way a hypnotist might, swearing he would do nothing to hurt Lily and intending to keep his word.

Her fascination with the doe was heartwarming. She turned back to him to offer a wide smile and he finally noticed how close he was to her. He jostled her wand hand slightly in his sudden nerves, while taking a falling step backward, cutting off her patronus. His cheeks were starting to heat up again, but this time, instead of snatching his hand back like before, he gazed upon his hand covering hers and committed the image to memory. It would probably be a rare occurrence in the future.

Severus finally pulled his hand away and met Lily's expression. She was surprisingly happy that the two of them had broken through her concentration barrier to allow the doe to linger so long. She wisely did not mention the coloring of his cheeks that lingered.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day found Severus Snape in an unusually good mood. He'd woken up early as usual, slipping out of the Slytherin common room as quietly as a ghost with his overfilled bag nudged over his shoulder. The Hogwarts dungeons were particularly cold this early in the morning, just past dawn, but his heavy black robes and slightly worn slacks kept any drafts away.

Birds were out full-force as he made his way toward the edge of the lake, not too far from the spot he'd prepared for Lily the day before. As he passed the patch of grass, he could still detect the scent of the lilies. It seemed that no one had removed his Charm work overnight, and for that, he was grateful. The wafting fragrance bid memories from yesterday to return to him as he sat against a nearby tree.

His parchment unraveled and he continued with the line of tiny slanted script from where he'd left off the night before, sitting against his bed and writing late into the night. It was a wonder he managed any sleep at all and still had the energy to be out and about today. Despite the relative improbability, his whole being was alight. The various bottles and vials in his bag clinked against each other as his hands reached for another roll of parchment, the one he'd just finished neatly rolled up and tied.

Hours passed this way until the brightness of the sun left him squinting against the off-white of the parchment. He looked up and narrowed inky eyes against the brilliance in the sky. Anyone who casually observed him would  _swear_  he was a vampire, the way he shrunk away from the light and shifted to the other side of the tree.

Just when he settled himself back down to continue his writing, he saw a dark red head peaking up over the slight incline, her figure getting closer. The smile came unbidden.

"Sev, there you are!" Her voice was light and the smile quickly found her glossy lips. "You have to walk me to class, remember?"

"Wha—" He didn't remember saying he would. When he realized she was making up words for him, a smirk crept onto his face. "Oh, right, I  _did_  say that, didn't I. Hold on a minute while I get my things."

Severus went along with Lily's statement jovially. Who was he to deny her his company? He finally stood with his bag over a slightly bony shoulder, his gaze following the lines of her face. Was she wearing make-up? He'd only seen her wear it on a handful of occasions. She usually preferred her natural beauty over the creams and powders other girls wore. He found himself missing the freckles that normally lined the bridge of her nose.

Beaming up at him when he stood, she hooked an arm through his and practically dragged him after her, toward the castle and to her first class, one which they actually shared: Charms.

Both were proficient at Charms and used to study the subject together until the latest school year. Hopefully the fresh patch-up would see them studying together again. Severus couldn't help the small hint of a smile as he caught up with her pace, his longer strides lazier than her shorter ones. She still had her arm looped through his.

They were a mere hallway away from their classroom when the voice called out.

"Oi, Snivelly, who said you could walk through here holding  _my_  Lily's arm like that?" The bespeckled face came into their view as he rounded the corner of a pillar.

Severus gritted his teeth against saying anything and he felt Lily's arm tense against his, but she made no move to break the connection. He tried to walk past the messy haired boy without much success.

A hand flew out and roughly grabbed Severus by his free arm, knocking his bag off his shoulder as it dropped with a few sickening clinks, indicating broken glass. Dark brows knit together as he tried to reign in his temper for the sake of Lily. She'd released his other arm as she backed away from the scene a bit.

James, with the arrogant cock of his head, leveled a smirk at his rival. He sauntered over to Severus and forcefully stepped on the other boy's bag, pointedly crunching the last remnants of whatever managed to survive in the broken vials.

Murky eyes sharpened and Severus felt his anger boiling over. Without letting another second of abuse pass, he rammed his shoulder into James and knocked the Gryffindor over. When he was down, Severus' hand snatched his wand out of his robes. James fumbled for his as well, but scrambling up from the stone floor took too long.

James was leveled with a spell he'd never heard before. He lay on the floor, hands twitching in the shock his body was suddenly experiencing. Round glasses hung awkwardly on his nose, the left lens sporting a long diagonal crack that obscured his wide eye. His throat bobbed but no words came out.

Lily's hands flew to her mouth at the sight. She, too, hadn't heard of the spell Severus laid on James. She gave her best friend a wide-eyed stare, shock and what could possibly have been fear etched in her expression. Fear of him, or fear for the wellbeing of Potter? Severus himself felt his anger quickly die down when he saw the effect the spell had on Lily's countenance.

He didn't think much when he quickly collected his belongings and rushed off toward Charms class, passing Lily a forlorn look. He didn't see the sorrow in her eyes as he turned his back to her.

—  **¤ —**

The next couple of days found Severus tucked away into the deepest corners of the library. He couldn't face Lily after the mishap with James in the corridor. The look on her face brought a new wave of pain to his features so that he could no longer concentrate on the O.W.L. practice exam he'd worked up for himself.

It hadn't been as difficult as before, avoiding her presence. This time it was she who tried to catch him, not the other way around. He supposed that could be a sign that she didn't thoroughly hate him yet; or, perhaps, she simply wanted to give him a final piece of her mind before she left him entirely alone.

The deep wrinkle between his brows creased with the tension he felt, eyes trying to meld with the parchment on the small wooden table. He forced himself to reread what he'd just attempted to write. It was barely legible and the errors were many.

"Severus…?"

It sounded almost as gentle as a whisper. Had he heard a ghost roaming around the library? Surely no one came this far back. A ghost must have found him and wondered what he was doing there. He chose to ignore it, leaning his head down farther, nose nearly pressed into the parchment. His writing was so small and slanted that he had to practically squint to see it.

"Sev!"

There was no mistaking that voice. And no one but  _she_  called him that. In a rush of panic, he quickly gathered his books and tried forcefully stuffing them into his bag. Not an easy feat.

"Severus!" Her voice was almost on top of him.

The color [what little he had] completely drained from his face when he landed his gaze dead on her shoes. He couldn't look up and see her disapproving face. His hands stopped their frantic packing. Resigned, he leaned back into the chair he'd occupied for days on end, awaiting the final stab to his already broken heart. He forced himself to hold his breath.

"Sev… why won't you look at me?"

How could he possibly answer such a question? The quick and heavy thudding of his heart could probably be heard a kilometer away. Surely she had to know why he couldn't face her. She'd been there, after all.

"Sev! Look at me!"

The force with which her words struck him left him unable to do anything but follow her instructions. Carefully he lifted his head, the black curtain of his hair falling limply against his cheek, partially covering his eyes. She looked radiant when she was angry.

"Now… tell me why you've been avoiding me." Lily's hands were on her hips in a commanding manner. She wouldn't let him slink away again, not when she had so many unanswered questions. Her heart went out to him, though; he looked positively terrified. What caused him to feel so afraid? She would dearly like to rectify the situation.

"You know—you have to know why. Because of  _him_ —" the pronoun was spat out venomously.

"Potter? You mean that heartless, insensitive, cruel, ridiculous excuse for a Gryffindor?" She had been so angry at James for his actions toward Severus. Lily was hardly able to contain herself that morning. After how he'd treated Severus, she almost didn't feel sorry for him as she saw spots of blood starting to decorate his uniform and robes. Madam Pomfrey quickly whisked him off to the hospital wing, yet Lily was left behind, wondering at the events that had transpired. She needed answers from her best friend but she quickly learned that he was nowhere to be found. The slim boy could blend into the shadows like no one else could.

Severus gaped at Lily. Had she said what he thought she'd said? Or was he going mad? That had to be it.

"Y—you don't… think I was wrong?" The disbelief latched onto every syllable.

"Of course I do!" He winced at the force in her voice.

"But so was he! After all, you were really only defending yourself." He let go of the breath he'd been holding. "He was left in a poor state, though, Sev." Lily's voice had gotten quieter.

He met her gaze, reading the sadness, anger, and resignment all at once. Why should she feel all of those things on his behalf? He thought she hated him just a few minutes ago.

"I think you should visit him in the hospital wing."

"Visit—!"

"…and apologize."

The sputter in his voice immediately died down. He didn't know how to respond to her request. Lily had said it so quietly, so simply. Her features were finally relaxed, the tension in them draining and seemingly passing to him. Severus' brows furrowed and his mouth firmed in a line. He leaned back in his chair again, crossing his arms over his narrow chest, and thought.

He thought about why  _he_  should be the one to apologize, when James Potter was obviously asking for it. Why  _he_  should be the better man and admit that he was sorry. Was he even sorry? Severus had designed that spell with the intention to use it against enemies. Wasn't James an enemy to him? Hadn't the Gryffindor boy proven, time and again, that he would always treat Severus like something beneath his shoe to be smashed?

Dark black hair ran idly against his shoulder as his head tilted, rolling backward, sideways, and forward. He felt the tension as taught as a rope being pulled to its limits. An audible  _crack_  and he'd made up his mind.

Inky eyes sought brilliant emerald greens. "Only if you'll come with me."

Lily's smile was simple and yet it conveyed so much: happiness, pride, strength of her convictions.

"Of course I'll come. We make a stronger team if we're  _together_ , after all."

Severus felt his heart skip a beat. Or maybe several beats, he couldn't be sure. His breathing was erratic, shoulders tensed [in a good way this time], hands clenched his robes beneath the small table. He shouldn't take her words for a… different meaning than they were intended. Surely, she didn't mean what he thought she meant.

The whirring of his mind was getting tiresome. He needed to do something to get the unbidden images out of his head. Unsteadily, he stood and shouldered his bag, carrying the rest of the unpacked belongings under his arm. He came almost nose to nose with Lily, she'd been standing so close. Of course, he was at least a head taller, but it still had the same effect.

"Um… well, I suppose I'll go finish up some studying and then… then we can go to the hospital wing." He hoped she wouldn't make him do it now.

Lily's dark red head nodded. He could feel the air shifting between them from that motion. He was sure she could hear his heart taking off in an irregular beat.

Without another word, he slipped by her, lightly brushing her shoulder as he left the relatively small space. He didn't see her turn to watch him go, this time, a hint of a smile on her perfect lips.

—  **¤ —**

"Didja see the scratch marks all over the floor?"

"Yeah,  _yeah_! Poor sod musta had a fit. Didn't think he'd be going into it that early in the day."

"But you know, I think that…" The voices died down mid-sentence.

Eyes wide and ears straining to hear, Severus sat still as a statue against the tree by the lake. He'd come out here to finish his practice O.W.L. when the two—he'd assumed it was only two—boys started chattering along the shore of the lake until they stopped not far from his tree. The decline helped to hide Severus from them, so they probably thought they were alone.

The voices sounded sickeningly familiar. When he'd placed names and faces to them, he felt his hands clench at his sides. He made sure to strain his sense of hearing so he could hear what they were saying, but the angry rush in his brain cut off the rest of that last sentence. What he would give to catch them off-guard with another well-aimed spell. They—well really, one of them—was another cause of much misery in the Slytherin's life.

Sirius Black was as arrogant as he was unashamed. His attempts at feigned innocence were disgusting. His pudgy little friend Peter followed him and James around everywhere. Now they were just a few meters away and Severus had to reign in every bit of control he had not to turn on them and teach them a lesson, one major lesson for the many humiliating episodes they'd put him through.

"Hang on, didja hear that?"

"Yeah, and I think I caught a smell of a right foul odor."

Severus clenched his jaw, realizing belatedly that he'd let out an angry sound at being so near to them.

They whirled on him, wands out, as they rounded the tree. Severus was just as quick, aiming his own between the two of them. Technically, they had the upper hand. Should they choose to act, he might be vulnerable. The anger rose within him.

"Oh look, Snivellus's been eavesdropping! What'd you hear, eh Snivelly? Anything of interest?"

Sirius had the cockiest look on his face that was begging to be removed. Oh, how he  _longed_  to do it. His hand tightened on his wand as he faced the two Gryffindors off.

"But Sirius!"

"Shh! I want to know if he's been snooping on our secrets! Y'know," Sirius drawled, tension in his shoulders releasing as he made to lower his wand, "you could just as easily go see for yourself."

Peter's round face snapped up to the handsome one of Sirius, whose lips had upturned in a smug smirk. "But—"

"Oi, Snivelly, want to find out our big secret? I'll tell you if you promise not to go blabbing it to everyone. I know you've been dying to see for yourself, anyway."

"But Sirius—"

The taller Gryffindor kept ignoring Peter's hissed pleas, a tinge of laughter at the edges of his eyes. He finally lowered his wand all the way and leaned in conspiratorially.

"Why don't you go prod that knot on the Whomping Willow, over there." Sirius waved his hand in the general direction of the massive tree. Peter's face turned a bright red as Sirius gave away this huge clue. He couldn't muster up his voice anymore.

Severus narrowed his eyes and kept his wand trained on both boys, the tip of the dangerous weapon leaning more toward Sirius Black. He was positive the Gryffindor wouldn't volunteer a secret so easily, but he was curious to see what he'd been talking about. He'd always sensed something off about Black and his ilk, but he never could pinpoint just what it was. He hated the other boy with a burning that just got hotter and hotter as he stood there. Curiosity latched onto the burning and inflamed his need to find out what Black was talking about.

Slowly, wand steady, he grabbed his bag and backed away, sharp eyes watching their every movement. When he'd backed away a few meters, Severus made a dash for the tree in question, looking back every so often to see if he was being followed. No one in sight.

When Sirius turned back to look at his shorter friend, the boy was nowhere to be seen. He cursed under his breath and ran up toward the castle.

—  **¤ —**

"He said  _what?_ " The disbelief in James Potter's voice resounded in the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey was letting him go that night, although she insisted on a final check-up to make sure he'd healed all the way. It was just starting to get dark outside. It had to be close to 7:30.

Peter shrunk away from James' disbelieving tone. He nodded quickly and clasped his hands tightly behind his back. Nerves ran all through him at having snitched on his friend.

Without another word, James took off at a run, not bothering to tell Madam Pomfrey he'd be back later for the check-up. His mind was on one thing: he had to stop the massacre before it would haunt him forever.

—  **¤ —**

Severus warily stepped around roots and dripping spots in the earthen ceiling. To his complete surprise, the knot on the tree was its weak point, causing it to stop flailing completely. He'd found a narrow entrance into the tree's root system and had taken it down. He had to have been walking for at least 20 minutes now. It was mostly dark and moldy in the passageway, but he could swear he saw a light source coming up.

The thudding was sudden and quickly grew louder. Severus darted his head back and forth, trying to make out the source of the sound. His eyes had grown accustomed to the mostly dark corridor, but he still couldn't pinpoint where the sound had come from. He hastened his pace and almost reached the light source.

A loud scratching and scuffing sound reverberated above him. His heart started a heavy beat within his chest and he felt himself freeze.  _Just what secret are they hiding up there?_

He tried to move but the scuffing got noisier and he could swear he heard growling.

"Get away!" The voice rebounded off of the corridor walls as they turned into wooden boards leading up to the light source. Severus was knocked down roughly and he felt himself being dragged quickly back the way he'd come. It all happened so quickly that he hadn't seen his assailant, nor could he place a face to the voice.

The ensuing struggle found them both lying on the earthen ground with dirt plastered to their faces. Severus had the other pinned and he leaned in to squint at the face.

" _YOU!_ "

The venom in his voice caused James Potter to pause for a second. He was pinned to the ground but his hand squirmed free and he shoved Severus Snape off of him. Quickly scrambling up, he grabbed the Slytherin's sleeve and tried to drag him again.

"We have to  _go!_ "

"Don't touch me!" Severus roughly pulled his arm out of the other boy's grasp, tearing his sleeve in the process. "What in the bloody hell are you doin—"

Before he could finish the question, a loud snarling and growling behind him cause both boys to freeze in their spots. Severus felt a deep fear in the pit of his stomach as he turned his dark head to find the source of the sounds.

He was on the floor again before he knew what had happened. He could hear more scuffing noises and…  _was that a dog whimper I just heard?_

Trying to scramble up and run back the way he'd come, he was bowled over and hit his head on a jutting root. Everything went black.

—  **¤ —**

"S… see…. Sevvv…"

His head pounded and his brows furrowed in pain. When a hand tried to lift toward his temples, he felt himself go numb all over.  _What—am I…?_

"Sev!"

The familiar voice hovered by his ear. He managed to crack open an eye.

"Oh, Sev, thank goodness!"

Lily ran to fetch Madam Pomfrey. His eyes opened the rest of the way and trailed her red hair as she disappeared around the corner.

He didn't have to wait long until he felt hands lightly touching his arms and legs. Murky eyes opened again to see Madam Pomfrey's stern but worried face hovering over him.

"What happened…?"

"Mister Snape! I'm glad to see you return to the land of the living." Her jibe notwithstanding, he felt like he'd been run over by a dragon.

"Sev, just lie still."

"Lily, what—"

"You would do well to listen to your friend. You've had a concussion and a broken leg. It's being mended, but there is only so much I can do for the concussion."

Madam Pomfrey was always concise.

"It's all right, he came to tell us what happened. Apparently you got caught by the Whomping Willow. That must have been awful!"

Lily's eyes conveyed all of the worry she'd been holding in. Severus met her eyes as he tried to remember. That didn't seem right…

"Is he all right?" The somewhat familiar voice came from down the hospital wing's corridor. From the corner of his eyes, he could see a figure coming toward them.

Lily turned as James Potter joined her by Severus' bedside. He looked worse for wear, but nothing too drastically out of the ordinary. Bits of hair were sticking up at the back of his head and his glasses were dirty.

"What are  _you_  doing here!" It was an angry statement, not a question.

"Oi, calm down. Is that any way to treat your rescuer?" James had said it in jest, but the seriousness behind his glasses made Severus falter.

"You…?"

"That's right mate, I found you out by the Whomping Willow. It nearly knocked you into pieces, but then Madam Pomfrey here mended you right up." He flashed a charming smile at the nurse.

Lily's eyes crinkled in worry again. She touched his nearest arm with both hands, squeezing comfortingly.

"You'll be okay, Sev. It's a good thing you were found, or we might have—" Her eyes seemed brighter than usual…

"Right, that's a life debt you owe me!" James was so damn casual. If Severus had the strength, he would smack that smirk right off of his face. As it was, his memories were still fuzzy, so he didn't know if the Gryffindor had been telling the truth.

"See you later, then." At Madam Pomfrey's disapproving look, James bid his goodbyes, cast a glance in Lily's direction, and headed off.

Green eyes met his own dark, swirling depths. The anger started to dissipate when he saw the tears trace down her cheeks.

"Lily, I'm sorry—"

"Don't be sorry! If anything,  _I'm_  sorry I didn't make you go right back to your House! To think you could've—" She cut herself off before she could voice the unpleasant thought.

Before he could respond, she leaned her head against his chest, both hands still firmly gripping his arm. Her hair tickled his nose and he found himself staring at the top of her head. His free hand carefully lifted up to run through the soft locks. Silence surrounded them as he closed his eyes and felt sleep claim him.


	3. Chapter 3

When Severus finally recovered from his ordeal, he spent more time than usual in the dungeons and library. He needed peace and quiet in order to properly recollect events. Lily had accepted his murmured request to be left alone for a while, lightly squeezing his arm and wishing him luck in his mental search.

He knew what James said hadn't been the truth; he could see the lie in the other boy's face every time he looked at Severus, and when James toned down his taunts and took to actually ignoring the Slytherin. Although most people would assume that young Severus Snape hated others, he actually found it interesting and self-assuring to observe other people, the majority of which proved themselves trivial and stupid each time. It was satisfying to see others try and fail.

James's failure finally culminated in the flicker of a memory.

_The dirt was cold and smelled moldy as his face landed against it, pain reverberating through his cheeks, nose, lips, and temples. Blinding warmth engulfed his head as he thought he heard something:_

" _Remus… Remus!"_

_And then the sound of a body slamming, a canine whimper, and a huffing noise. Just managing to turn his head and crack open his watery eyes, Severus saw the blurry outline of a… horse? … beating its hooves against a tall and furry creature. No, not a horse, it had antlers…_

_Blackness took over and the pain disappeared._

Sable eyes widened at the images flooding his mind. He cursed a little too loudly, for he earned a reproaching look from Madam Pince. His bag was hoisted over a shoulder and he quickly scurried out of the library.

Severus took to pacing the Slytherin common room, unable to contain the fury in his step. Avery tried to strike up a conversation about the latest muggleborn he'd tormented but Severus had turned on him and snarled that he wanted to be left alone. A bit putt off, Avery quickly retreated.

He couldn't contain his energy anymore. Practically running through the castle toward the Gryffindor portrait, he started pounding on the wall and yelling for anyone to open it. It was finally a small first year that came out to see what the noise was all about. He pushed past her into the common room, ignoring her spluttering and searching around the fairly quiet space. He turned back to the young girl and leveled her with a glare.

"Have you seen Lily Evans?" To which the girl quickly shook her head, eyes wide.

"Sev! What are you doing here?"

He turned around and saw her descending a flight of stairs. The young girl was forgotten as he approached Lily with a snarl on his lips.

"I remember what that  _sod_  did!"

"Lower your tone!" Lily berated him, well aware of the first year that was gaping at them. She took hold of Severus's arm and led him toward the back of the portrait, intending to talk outside.

"Do you know what Black tried to do?" Severus was near hysterics as he resisted the pull, shaking her hand off before they could exit through the portrait. His fist pounded on the stone wall and he walked in tight circles, breathing heavily.

"Sev, come on, you can't be in here! Let's talk outside!" Her pleading voice drew his livid gaze and he sharply nodded once, at least sensible enough not to get one of Gryffindor's prefects into trouble.

When they'd both climbed out through the portrait and Lily got him far enough away from any prying ears, he whirled on the spot with eyes flashing in anger.

"He set me up! He wanted me to get hurt or worse!" His words came out in a jumble, frustration, anger, hatred, and fear coming out all at once. His chest rose and fell with forced breaths lest he pass out from the sheer strength of his words. The image he made before Lily might have been deemed mental if not for his eyes, which focused on her and tried to anchor themselves onto something so he wouldn't go off completely.

"What, you mean by the Whomping Willow?" Her voice held a note of disbelief; she didn't want to believe that anyone was capable of willfully leading another person into harm's way.

"No, the Shrieking Shack! That bloody building that's 'haunted' or whatever nonsense! They're keeping an  _animal_  in there." With the word 'animal,' Severus lowered his tone to a hiss and his dark eyes flashed angrily.

Lily's brows knit close together as she tried to make out his rant, mentally piecing together the puzzle he presented her with. "Hang on, do you mean to say you went to the Shack and saw some kind of animal? How? I thought it was unreachable from the outside."

"That's just it; that  _Black git_  said there was a way to get in through the Whomping Willow." Severus took a calming breath before continuing, painfully aware of his blunt nails digging into tightly clenched palms. "I went in because I wanted to know what he was hiding. And then—"

As if his ears had prickled at being mentioned, the subject of Severus's heated words appeared by the portrait entrance, no doubt looking to head in for the night. Sirius noticed the two a ways from the portrait and shot Severus a cocky grin.

"All right there, Snivellus? I hear you got out fairly unscathed!" The young Gryffindor crossed his arms over his chest and stood with an air so proud and self-assured that Severus felt himself launch forward, wand withdrawn and poised for the kill. However, before any of them could act, Remus Lupin finally caught up with his smarmy friend, his breathing shallow and overall looking worse for wear. His robes hung loosely on his already thin frame and his hair was swept messily across his forehead, as if he were trying to hide something.

Severus's inky glare landed on the worn-looking Gryffindor and quickly snapped wide open, a look of trepidation taking hold of his sallow features. His wand remained drawn but he didn't make any further moves to approach the two Gryffindors. The tension raised tenfold in the space outside the Gryffindor portrait.

"Black, in the common room!" Lily's voice shook Severus out of his stiff position as she ordered Sirius inside. Since Remus was also a prefect, she didn't have that authority, but she needn't have said anything. The smaller Gryffindor obediently followed a cursing Sirius after he'd whispered the password so Severus couldn't hear. Just as abruptly as they'd appeared, they were gone.

Unbelieving eyes trailed over the closed portrait for a few seconds before turning to Lily's face. "Him… it was  _him_ , Lily," Severus breathed.

"Sev, what  _are_  you talking about?" She tried to keep her voice calm but her friend was making very little sense just then. She didn't notice the fear well up in his eyes.

"He—he's—" Shaking his head and forcefully shoving his wand back into his robes, Severus leveled his gaze with the floor before he squeezed his eyes shut, voice grounding out the last bit of his sentence, "he's a  _werewolf_."

Lily's eyebrows shot up practically into her hairline at his accusation. He refused to look at her so she took hold of both of his narrow shoulders and tried to get his attention focused on her. Severus held his gaze firmly to the floor and refused to budge. She felt his shoulders tighten up as she held onto them. She could only feebly ask:

"…what do you mean, a werewolf?"

"Just that! He  _is_  one." His voice was low as it emerged from his lowered face, the curtain of black obscuring his expression from her. He couldn't bring himself to look her in the eyes for fear of the disbelief he would see in them. He knew she would rather think him mad than that one of her Housemates might be an abomination.

Releasing his shoulders as though she'd been scathed, Lily leaned back against a nearby stone wall and shook her head, lowering her own gaze to the floor. She wanted to say something more, but she didn't know how to address her friend. She didn't want to flat-out say he was imagining things; after all, he was clearly being adversely affected by his own words, but she didn't know if it was due to their absurdity or— _no, it's not possible!_  Lily berated herself.  _Surely Professor Dumbledore would have known! The Professors wouldn't just let a dangerous creature into the castle without some…_  it was then her mind snapped onto an important little detail she hadn't considered before.

"The Whomping Willow! It must keep others away while the full moon transforms him." Her voice was filled with recognition as she observed Severus snap his head up and his eyes searchingly meet hers.

"Oh Sev, it makes sense! That whole haunted nonsense must be the noises of his…  _alternate_  self." She hesitated to say the word 'werewolf' out loud.

Severus nodded along with her conclusion, coming closer to her and managing a small, triumphant smile. "So you believe me?"

Lily stopped her musings as she eyed him carefully. It was still difficult to believe that anyone would allow a werewolf into the school, but everything was starting to add up and she couldn't willingly deny the connections now that she'd seen them. Giving him a smile in return, she dodged the question and instead, turned toward the Gryffindor portrait, intending to head in for the night.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Sev."

Severus merely stood where Lily had left him, gaze trailing her departure into the portrait hole and then settling on the still frame. Even the portrait's occupant did not acknowledge him as he stood there slightly taken aback at her sudden departure.

Finally turning from the portrait, he hunched his shoulders and lowered his head, watching his steps as he steadily made his way down to his own House for the evening. The little smile crossed his lips as his mind ran over Lily's words; she believed him.

—  **¤ —**

O.W.L.s finally passed and Severus was out by the lake, reveling in the cool breeze that touched his forehead and swept away some black tendrils. The day was overcast and the usually noisy animals were fairly quiet. All in all, it was a perfect day in his opinion. Threats of rain continuously ran over his head with the greying clouds, but while he sat against 'his' tree, gaze looking out over the spot he'd created just a couple of months prior, a small smile blossomed onto his lips. Things had gone well with Lily since then, despite little hitches here and there.

The bag at his side rustled a little as a green, leafy tendril shot out to feel its surroundings. A mildly impatient look crossed Severus's features as he tried stuffing it back into the Erlenmeyer flask with very little success.

A witch with a little hop to her step started coming into view over the slight incline of grass, intending to meet her friend at their designated time and place. The sight of Severus failing to contain his live potions ingredient elicited a laugh from her which she quickly tried to muffle, but it was too late; his head whirled around and he offered her a grand attempt at a scowl.

"It isn't funny!" he cried indignantly, one hand tangled in the plant and the other trying to pry the vine off with his wand. His attempts to put the plant away unharmed were starting to become fruitless, and the growls of frustration only made Lily laugh harder.

Soon she was bent over his bag and joining in the fray. Surely two heads were better than one, or in this case, two sets of hands. Several minutes of prying, untangling, and mild curses which were rebuffed with "Severus!" the two managed to sort his potions ingredients, shut his bag up, and lean against the tree side-by-side, taking a few deep breaths.

Lily's head lolled to the side so she could lazily glance at her best friend, a bemused expression greeting him. "How did you do on your O.W.L.s?"

She needn't ask as he rattled off his marks: "Outstanding in Potions and DADA, Charms, Transfiguration, Runes, History of Magic, and Astronomy." He made a point not to note the 'Exceeds Expectations' received in Herbology, as he thought it a weak subject to begin with. "You? As if I have to enquire."

Her smile was broad as she confirmed his suspicions: she'd received Outstandings in every single subject she was enrolled in that year, totaling eight. His pride took a slight wound at her beaming face, but he forced a happy expression which came out more of a grimace. It was, nonetheless, an attempt Lily appreciated. They continued to discuss various things against that tree trunk, sitting as though nothing had ever come between them in the past, just like they had when they were children. Finally, Lily asked:

"Are you free this summer?"

Severus took just a moment to think about his plans, glossing over the heavier topic of his 'friends' that he would be seeing more of over the warm months, to confirm that yes, he was mostly free. He tried not to let her see the dark shadow that had started to occupy his gaze when he thought about some of the books he'd smuggled from the library with full intention to memorize front to back. These were books she would certainly not approve of, and the 'friends' he would be seeing needed to be kept hushed up even from his own parents. Not like they would have cared one whit about his activities anyway.

Lily noticed the dark cloud that started to creep up over her friend's head as he contemplated his plans, eventually relaying to her what she thought was the abridged version. Not wanting to press him just then, she nodded acquiescently and made a mental note to ask about it when they were back at Spinner's End. They parted ways amicably, although with Severus clearly preoccupied since their last topic of conversation. He didn't notice the furrow to her brows as she headed back toward the castle, a heaviness pervading her steps while the storm clouds finally promised a heavy rain that afternoon.

—  **¤ —**

The mass of voices was starting to grate on Severus's nerves, two fingers pinching the bridge of his nose and his lithe figure trying to duck the stray arms that shot out to hug people all around him. He'd been shoved by a few first years running past him, excited to be shucking that title as soon as they left Hogwarts for the summer. Some members of Gryffindor shot him dirty looks but didn't approach him, seemingly led by that Potter git who simply turned his back on Severus without a word.

"Sev!" came the voice, calling out over the loudness around him. Several heads turned in his direction as they saw a whirl of red pass them and land into the lanky boy, almost knocking him off balance. Lily squeezed him round the waist affectionately and gave him a genuine smile as she bid him goodbye. It was almost silly, really, since they would be headed to the same village. Until he remembered that she really  _wasn't_  in Slytherin and she'd be sitting with people from her own House. The last few months almost made him forget they were in separate Houses. They'd become as close as they had when they were kids, bringing back a warmth to Severus's face that had been absent for too long.

"See you at Spinner's End," he replied, offering a brief flash of a smile as he hugged back, albeit a bit awkwardly. Hopefully Lily would miss the faint tinge of color spreading over his cheeks.

She seemingly did, nodding fervently and offering a final smile as she headed to the car housing her friends. Severus watched her go with a longing expression on his face, until finally, the last of her vibrant hair disappeared into a different compartment. He made his way to a fairly secluded one of his own, surrounded mostly by his House and a few Ravenclaws dotted here and there. None bothered to speak with him, and he rather preferred it that way.

Upon finding his seat, he was unceremoniously joined by Avery and Mulciber who bunched into the compartment across from him.

"'ey, we still on for the summer?" Mulciber leaned forward after he'd asked the question, pinning Severus with a knowing look. Only a fool would deny him when they'd been so singled out.

"I said I would," snarled Severus, crossing spindly arms over his narrow chest. The sneer he leveled at Mulciber went unnoticed.

"Good," interjected Avery, talking over Mulciber who undoubtedly had a witty reply. "We'll see you round the last week of June, then." Without further conversation, Avery dragged Mulciber by the arm and left Severus alone in the compartment.

The dark cloud started to gather around him again as he stared out of the window, inky eyes trailing over the landscape as they raced farther and farther away from Hogwarts, the only admittedly safe haven he'd had in five years.

 _Lily, don't hate me, please_.

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to my roleplay partner for the inspiration and for essentially co-writing this chapter with me. This story was borne of a spectacular session the day that Deathly Hallows part 2 was released. Severus Snape deserves some happiness in his name.


End file.
